So it has been over a month since I logged on here, I am still figuring this whole blog thing out, it took a few tries to finally remember my password. When I logged on, sadly no one had been to my page, but then I realized that I haven't told anyone I even
have a blog! Maybe it's a slight case of anxiety, I tend to lean on the side that says no one will read what I write or they will make fun of me! But my friends wouldn't do that (
and if you were thinking about it, you shouldn't!). But mostly no one knows about it becuase I have been busy and haven't spread the word. So if you are reading this, thanks for checking it out.
A lot can happen in a month. Major life changes take place leaving you feeling like the rug has been pulled out from underneath you. Learning to stand again has been taking a longer, slower path than I really care for most days. But I know its where God wants me. I have been reading one of my favorite books, Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. I want to share a little bit on here for two reasons, 1. it expresses how I feel and I think how many of my friends feel/have felt and 2. hopefully you will read the book for yourself. The Shepherd has promised to take Much-Afraid to the High Places where her legs will no longer be crooked and she will be beautiful, but after a while into her journey, she sees the path leading away from the mountains...
He looked at her and answered very gently, "That is the path, Much-Afraid, and you are to go down there." "Oh, no," she cried. "You can't mean it. You said if I would trust you, you would bring me to the High Places, and that path leads right away from them. It contradicts all that you promised.""No," said the Shepherd, "it is not contradiction, only postponement for the best to become possible." Much-Afraid felt as though he had stabbed her to the heart. "You mean," she said incredulously, "you really mean that I am to follow that path down and down into that wilderness and then over that desert, away from the mountains indefinitely? Why" (and there was a sob of anguish in her voice) "it may be months, even years, before that path leads back to the mountains again. O Shepherd, do you mean it is indefinite postponement?"He bowed his head silently, and Much-Afraid sank on her knees at his feet, almost overwhelmed. He was leading her away from her heart's desire altogether and gave no promise at all as to when he would bring her back. As she looked out over what seemed an endless desert, the only path she could see led farther and farther away from the High Places, and it was all desert. Then he answered very quietly, "Much-Afraid, do you love me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise, and go down there with me into the desert?" She was still crouching at his feet, sobbing as if her heart would break, but now she looked up through her tears, caught his hand in hers, and said, trembling, "I do love you, you know that I love you. Oh, forgive me because I can't help my tears. I will go down with you into the wilderness, right away from the promise, if you really wish it. Even if you cannot tell me why it has to be, I will go with you, for you know I do love you, and you have the right to choose for me anything that you please."I can't express to you how much this book has helped me time and time again, no matter what my circumstances have been. It gives me perspective and renews my desire to continue on the journey like Much-Afraid becuase we get the same promise she does when we reach the High Places, we will be exactly as God has seen us all along, beautiful and dearly loved.
This is getting long and I should be studying for my last two finals tomorrow, so I have procrastinated long enough :)
Artist: Tenth Avenue North
