Adventures in Texas

     Doug and I have felt God tugging on our hearts, preparing us for change. We both have a deep desire to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before! Hmm, no, that was someone else's desire. (Maybe I have watched too many Star Trek's recently!)

     We desire to seek out where God is working and join him there. The chance to relocate, start fresh as a married couple, join a thriving community that is living out the gospel, to find a "launching pad" of sorts for us to get overseas-- these are all things we have been spending months praying for. The process of looking for such a place was daunting but God is full of grace. He lead us to three cities that each had family/friends, from those three cities we realized that only one had jobs. church, and family/friends.

     Never ceasing in our prayer we visited my cousin Kelly and her family in March. On our way to their home in Texas, we passed by a brand new Baylor hospital that was opening summer of 2012. Not wanting to mistake it for a "sign" we just tucked that away in our minds and continued on. After a wonderful time getting to know Kelly we returned home. One thing lead to another, and I found myself applying for several positions to Baylor and a other hospitals. Two weeks later I had a job offer! Sparing you all a long story, it took another few weeks to get everything figured out, but I will be starting May 21st June 4th, (in the process of writing this post, we had another change.) God is really working on me, I feel very much like he is bending me all over. I am not very flexible.

     God has just given us the opportunity to join him at The Village Church, in North Dallas. We encourage you to check them out. We have sought God's face, others wisdom and we believe that our next step is to move 6 hours away from our first home, our family and friends. This is not easy, but Christ is worth it. I personally feel that through this move, with all its change, I will grow so much greater than if I remain still.

I am so bad at this blogging business. It took me four days to peck this out on my keyboard! I hear it gets better with practice. Please join us in praying for this time of change in our life. We appreciate you!

::: I will be in Kansas for a little longer, as I wait for the Board of Nursing to process my license... the growing pains have begun :::

Recently

Oh goodness, it has been over a month already since I last blogged, and I was doing so good.

Sigh.

Well, here I am back again, nothing particularly ground breaking to share just needed to write a post to get my self back in the swing of things. I am not a gifted writer nor do I have such an interesting life to report on...but I know what this does for me. It keeps me accountable and it keeps me honest. Recently my husband told me I should start blogging again, he noticed a difference in me when I was sharing the little moments of thankfulness I was experiencing. So I am back, and for those of you who have a blogger blog...it got a face-lift and I am trying to find where everything is!

It would take some time to go over all the things that have happened this last month, and I almost thought of spiritualizing my absence...saying that I was on an "electronic sabbatical". But that would be lying.

August was hot.

Camping was great over Labor Day weekend, the weather was perfect, dare I say, chilly? We were saddened that the campsite did not have all the amenities it advertised online. Still, camping is camping. Our brand new tent worked perfectly, and it did not cause us need for counseling after putting it up. Our little stove was great, we made brown water coffee on our percolator, and eggless pancakes! If you ever wondered what they would taste like if one were to forget an egg...we would say, not too bad. A little dough-y but definitely consumable.
Want to see some photos? You will have to go here to see them, since I downloaded them on Doug's laptop!

I have been thoroughly enjoying the cooler weather, so stinking excited for Fall! I am a summer baby through and through...

BUT I LOVE FALL!!

The leaves changing colors, the jackets, the warm cozy socks, the apple delights calling me to eat them (I recently made apple crisp...so good!), gearing up for the holidays and just the incredible beauty that has been hiding behind 100 degree days. One hundred percent excited.

I guess I had more to share than I thought, but I will leave you all with some recent experiences leaving me filled with thanks,

hot summer days turning into fall
camping for the first time with Doug
meeting my dear friend's 3 week year old little girl

marveling in God's goodness towards me, a sinner
talking with my sister for hours as we play with the kitties

open windows letting in the breeze
tissues to blow my nose free of all the allergies the window brings in :)
sweet grandparents prayers

Pandora filling my living room with worship music
walking in the rain for 2 miles with my sister-in-law
waiting for Doug and his brother Greg as they run their race in the rain
my little sweet niece

hope for the future, so thankful.

Quiet

Today is a very quiet day.
Not a whole lot going on.
Almost have the second room organized.
yay!
Cookies in the oven.
yum!
Going to see mom and jackie and the new kitties soon.
That will end my quiet day :)

I am learning to be ok with the quiet, no chaos happening at all, not really sure what to do, kind of days. I know it seems silly that someone would struggle with not having much to do right? Well, I do. When your life was busy to begin with and then tragedy and chaos have had a field day in your life for a time, having a quiet, still, do-nothing, return to "normal" (whatever that is!) kind of day...it is a gift that I am not sure what to do with. Like a white elephant gift, you never know what to do with those!

God is in the quiet just as much as he is in the chaos. In 2008 when my family was turned upside down with death, disease, fear, lies, utter despair... chaos. I had never before nor since experienced God in such a sweet way. When the path was so dark and my heart so filled with grief I could hardly breathe some days, God was there. He was with me every morning as I woke, puffy eyed from tears and worry, and he was with me throughout the day as I braved a smile, and he was with me, heavy hearted as I laid down my head for another night.

"In the midst of our grief and struggles, we were also living with an experience of special grace... a sense of God's presence, as if the veil between the temporal and the eternal had been lifted." -Choosing to SEE by MaryBeth Chapman

I am so glad God is in the chaos and in those dark times. I would not have survived, my family would not be where they are today, if God did not reign over the darkness just as much as he reigns in the light. Though I find it harder to see him in the light, isn't that so...human of me?! When things are going well, when I have my days off work to do as I please, I don't know what to do and I don't feel very close to my creator. But he is there, he knows what he is doing in my life and yours, and he is good. Will you pray today that we would stand firm the truth that God is with us, for us, and not on our feelings that he is far away or against us?

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. -1 Kings 19:11-13

Thankful for
cookies and the wonderful aroma they have
quiet, still moments
waking up early to make breakfast for my husband
good books that make me cry with them
God and his mysterious ways I will never understand
grace

loved, chosen, cherished...

So blessed by the ways God speaks to me. I needed to watch this today.

In God's Heart I Am...?


I am thankful for
beautiful people telling their messy stories
hour long skype chats with my dear friend Sarah
early morning waffles and bad coffee
laundry already done and folded by my husband
watching dear friends join in marriage last friday
watching my sister work her photographer skills (she is pretty awesome if I say so myself!)
showering for 20 minutes with beautiful music playing loudly

Andrew Peterson - Dancing in the Minefields from Centricity Music on Vimeo.

Today's Untitled Blog Post

So I can not think of a title for this post today. My clever genius starts after 7:00 am.


I read the most encouraging blog post yesterday, I was so encouraged and moved that I decided to not blog about it then but to let it stay with me all day. You might begin to think that I have an obsession with Ann Voskamp...well I kind of do becuase she has an obsession with Christ that I want! They say if you want to be skinny, do skinny people things, if you want to be fit, do what fit people do and so forth. Well, I want to be passionately in love with Christ and let him use my messy story to heal me and if he chooses, to touch others with it as well.

I have become a bit of a perfectionist over the years, always striving to have everything in it's place, to be the best at everything I do, and I get frustrated when things don't go exactly how I pictured.  I have also started to rely on God to break me of this nasty habit. He doesn't want my perfection, he already has it through Christ. He wants my praise and my love to turn towards him in everything I do.

I have noticed a change in my attitude already just by being aware and giving thanks for all the beautiful gifts He has given me. On the flip side, I have had some pretty down times as well. That old self coming out telling me I am not good enough, smart enough, perfect enough to even be worthy to call upon his name. Those lies will creep up, but my God has given me the truth. I read another amazing woman's thoughts on this, and I encourage you to head over there too. We are His beautiful children, there is great delight in his eyes when he sees us.

Thankful for,
long talks with my mom
wedding album finally in
smell of clean clothes
early morning walks with Doug
laughing with my husband over silly things
our Rwandan Compassion child
knowing God is not finished with me