Quiet

Today is a very quiet day.
Not a whole lot going on.
Almost have the second room organized.
yay!
Cookies in the oven.
yum!
Going to see mom and jackie and the new kitties soon.
That will end my quiet day :)

I am learning to be ok with the quiet, no chaos happening at all, not really sure what to do, kind of days. I know it seems silly that someone would struggle with not having much to do right? Well, I do. When your life was busy to begin with and then tragedy and chaos have had a field day in your life for a time, having a quiet, still, do-nothing, return to "normal" (whatever that is!) kind of day...it is a gift that I am not sure what to do with. Like a white elephant gift, you never know what to do with those!

God is in the quiet just as much as he is in the chaos. In 2008 when my family was turned upside down with death, disease, fear, lies, utter despair... chaos. I had never before nor since experienced God in such a sweet way. When the path was so dark and my heart so filled with grief I could hardly breathe some days, God was there. He was with me every morning as I woke, puffy eyed from tears and worry, and he was with me throughout the day as I braved a smile, and he was with me, heavy hearted as I laid down my head for another night.

"In the midst of our grief and struggles, we were also living with an experience of special grace... a sense of God's presence, as if the veil between the temporal and the eternal had been lifted." -Choosing to SEE by MaryBeth Chapman

I am so glad God is in the chaos and in those dark times. I would not have survived, my family would not be where they are today, if God did not reign over the darkness just as much as he reigns in the light. Though I find it harder to see him in the light, isn't that so...human of me?! When things are going well, when I have my days off work to do as I please, I don't know what to do and I don't feel very close to my creator. But he is there, he knows what he is doing in my life and yours, and he is good. Will you pray today that we would stand firm the truth that God is with us, for us, and not on our feelings that he is far away or against us?

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. -1 Kings 19:11-13

Thankful for
cookies and the wonderful aroma they have
quiet, still moments
waking up early to make breakfast for my husband
good books that make me cry with them
God and his mysterious ways I will never understand
grace

loved, chosen, cherished...

So blessed by the ways God speaks to me. I needed to watch this today.

In God's Heart I Am...?


I am thankful for
beautiful people telling their messy stories
hour long skype chats with my dear friend Sarah
early morning waffles and bad coffee
laundry already done and folded by my husband
watching dear friends join in marriage last friday
watching my sister work her photographer skills (she is pretty awesome if I say so myself!)
showering for 20 minutes with beautiful music playing loudly

Andrew Peterson - Dancing in the Minefields from Centricity Music on Vimeo.

Today's Untitled Blog Post

So I can not think of a title for this post today. My clever genius starts after 7:00 am.


I read the most encouraging blog post yesterday, I was so encouraged and moved that I decided to not blog about it then but to let it stay with me all day. You might begin to think that I have an obsession with Ann Voskamp...well I kind of do becuase she has an obsession with Christ that I want! They say if you want to be skinny, do skinny people things, if you want to be fit, do what fit people do and so forth. Well, I want to be passionately in love with Christ and let him use my messy story to heal me and if he chooses, to touch others with it as well.

I have become a bit of a perfectionist over the years, always striving to have everything in it's place, to be the best at everything I do, and I get frustrated when things don't go exactly how I pictured.  I have also started to rely on God to break me of this nasty habit. He doesn't want my perfection, he already has it through Christ. He wants my praise and my love to turn towards him in everything I do.

I have noticed a change in my attitude already just by being aware and giving thanks for all the beautiful gifts He has given me. On the flip side, I have had some pretty down times as well. That old self coming out telling me I am not good enough, smart enough, perfect enough to even be worthy to call upon his name. Those lies will creep up, but my God has given me the truth. I read another amazing woman's thoughts on this, and I encourage you to head over there too. We are His beautiful children, there is great delight in his eyes when he sees us.

Thankful for,
long talks with my mom
wedding album finally in
smell of clean clothes
early morning walks with Doug
laughing with my husband over silly things
our Rwandan Compassion child
knowing God is not finished with me

Oklahoma!

Weekend get-a-way to Oklahoma may not sound romantic or exciting, but getting away from work and school and the apartment to spend some much needed time with your husband, is just the kind of weekend I needed. We had bought a Groupon for the Hyatt Hotel in Tulsa, Googled some very Tulsa things to do and headed out for our destination, complete with Chex Mix and peanut butter M&M's. I wanted to share some of the things we did while there, so check out the photos below!

Grabbing coffee at the local, shabby chic, Shades of Brown

In Tulsa's version of Bradly Fair, they had a fun old phone booth!

"Help! Help!"

Dun-da-da-Dun!!

"I will rescue you!"

Where there is a Doug, there is a Starbucks.

Fun at Anthropolgie

Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?

Beautiful Philbrook Museum

So beautiful, so hot, I melted

Random garden gnome!

This gazebo is what took husband and I out of the AC and into the sweltering Brazilian rainforest, wait I mean Tulsa

Despite the heat wave, the flowers were in full bloom.

Snapped some self photos and high tailed it back to the museum!

 

 

 Things I am grateful for:

Long worknights with great coworkers
patients who understand they are not the only ones you have to take care of
God holding me together when I am falling apart
good times with the sister

the air conditioner
of course, get-a-way weekends with the hubby
how he chose the smoother path on the way there so I could sleep in the car
clouds disguised as a fantastic king sized bed
dinner and a movie date night out of town
remembering how God loves me, all.the.time.
brother and sister-in-law's preparing to have a baby girl :)
going to be an Auntie!
good chats with good friends
late night and early morning walks with my love
have I mentioned the air conditioner?