Quiet

Today is a very quiet day.
Not a whole lot going on.
Almost have the second room organized.
yay!
Cookies in the oven.
yum!
Going to see mom and jackie and the new kitties soon.
That will end my quiet day :)

I am learning to be ok with the quiet, no chaos happening at all, not really sure what to do, kind of days. I know it seems silly that someone would struggle with not having much to do right? Well, I do. When your life was busy to begin with and then tragedy and chaos have had a field day in your life for a time, having a quiet, still, do-nothing, return to "normal" (whatever that is!) kind of day...it is a gift that I am not sure what to do with. Like a white elephant gift, you never know what to do with those!

God is in the quiet just as much as he is in the chaos. In 2008 when my family was turned upside down with death, disease, fear, lies, utter despair... chaos. I had never before nor since experienced God in such a sweet way. When the path was so dark and my heart so filled with grief I could hardly breathe some days, God was there. He was with me every morning as I woke, puffy eyed from tears and worry, and he was with me throughout the day as I braved a smile, and he was with me, heavy hearted as I laid down my head for another night.

"In the midst of our grief and struggles, we were also living with an experience of special grace... a sense of God's presence, as if the veil between the temporal and the eternal had been lifted." -Choosing to SEE by MaryBeth Chapman

I am so glad God is in the chaos and in those dark times. I would not have survived, my family would not be where they are today, if God did not reign over the darkness just as much as he reigns in the light. Though I find it harder to see him in the light, isn't that so...human of me?! When things are going well, when I have my days off work to do as I please, I don't know what to do and I don't feel very close to my creator. But he is there, he knows what he is doing in my life and yours, and he is good. Will you pray today that we would stand firm the truth that God is with us, for us, and not on our feelings that he is far away or against us?

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. -1 Kings 19:11-13

Thankful for
cookies and the wonderful aroma they have
quiet, still moments
waking up early to make breakfast for my husband
good books that make me cry with them
God and his mysterious ways I will never understand
grace