Recently

Oh goodness, it has been over a month already since I last blogged, and I was doing so good.

Sigh.

Well, here I am back again, nothing particularly ground breaking to share just needed to write a post to get my self back in the swing of things. I am not a gifted writer nor do I have such an interesting life to report on...but I know what this does for me. It keeps me accountable and it keeps me honest. Recently my husband told me I should start blogging again, he noticed a difference in me when I was sharing the little moments of thankfulness I was experiencing. So I am back, and for those of you who have a blogger blog...it got a face-lift and I am trying to find where everything is!

It would take some time to go over all the things that have happened this last month, and I almost thought of spiritualizing my absence...saying that I was on an "electronic sabbatical". But that would be lying.

August was hot.

Camping was great over Labor Day weekend, the weather was perfect, dare I say, chilly? We were saddened that the campsite did not have all the amenities it advertised online. Still, camping is camping. Our brand new tent worked perfectly, and it did not cause us need for counseling after putting it up. Our little stove was great, we made brown water coffee on our percolator, and eggless pancakes! If you ever wondered what they would taste like if one were to forget an egg...we would say, not too bad. A little dough-y but definitely consumable.
Want to see some photos? You will have to go here to see them, since I downloaded them on Doug's laptop!

I have been thoroughly enjoying the cooler weather, so stinking excited for Fall! I am a summer baby through and through...

BUT I LOVE FALL!!

The leaves changing colors, the jackets, the warm cozy socks, the apple delights calling me to eat them (I recently made apple crisp...so good!), gearing up for the holidays and just the incredible beauty that has been hiding behind 100 degree days. One hundred percent excited.

I guess I had more to share than I thought, but I will leave you all with some recent experiences leaving me filled with thanks,

hot summer days turning into fall
camping for the first time with Doug
meeting my dear friend's 3 week year old little girl

marveling in God's goodness towards me, a sinner
talking with my sister for hours as we play with the kitties

open windows letting in the breeze
tissues to blow my nose free of all the allergies the window brings in :)
sweet grandparents prayers

Pandora filling my living room with worship music
walking in the rain for 2 miles with my sister-in-law
waiting for Doug and his brother Greg as they run their race in the rain
my little sweet niece

hope for the future, so thankful.

Quiet

Today is a very quiet day.
Not a whole lot going on.
Almost have the second room organized.
yay!
Cookies in the oven.
yum!
Going to see mom and jackie and the new kitties soon.
That will end my quiet day :)

I am learning to be ok with the quiet, no chaos happening at all, not really sure what to do, kind of days. I know it seems silly that someone would struggle with not having much to do right? Well, I do. When your life was busy to begin with and then tragedy and chaos have had a field day in your life for a time, having a quiet, still, do-nothing, return to "normal" (whatever that is!) kind of day...it is a gift that I am not sure what to do with. Like a white elephant gift, you never know what to do with those!

God is in the quiet just as much as he is in the chaos. In 2008 when my family was turned upside down with death, disease, fear, lies, utter despair... chaos. I had never before nor since experienced God in such a sweet way. When the path was so dark and my heart so filled with grief I could hardly breathe some days, God was there. He was with me every morning as I woke, puffy eyed from tears and worry, and he was with me throughout the day as I braved a smile, and he was with me, heavy hearted as I laid down my head for another night.

"In the midst of our grief and struggles, we were also living with an experience of special grace... a sense of God's presence, as if the veil between the temporal and the eternal had been lifted." -Choosing to SEE by MaryBeth Chapman

I am so glad God is in the chaos and in those dark times. I would not have survived, my family would not be where they are today, if God did not reign over the darkness just as much as he reigns in the light. Though I find it harder to see him in the light, isn't that so...human of me?! When things are going well, when I have my days off work to do as I please, I don't know what to do and I don't feel very close to my creator. But he is there, he knows what he is doing in my life and yours, and he is good. Will you pray today that we would stand firm the truth that God is with us, for us, and not on our feelings that he is far away or against us?

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. -1 Kings 19:11-13

Thankful for
cookies and the wonderful aroma they have
quiet, still moments
waking up early to make breakfast for my husband
good books that make me cry with them
God and his mysterious ways I will never understand
grace

loved, chosen, cherished...

So blessed by the ways God speaks to me. I needed to watch this today.

In God's Heart I Am...?


I am thankful for
beautiful people telling their messy stories
hour long skype chats with my dear friend Sarah
early morning waffles and bad coffee
laundry already done and folded by my husband
watching dear friends join in marriage last friday
watching my sister work her photographer skills (she is pretty awesome if I say so myself!)
showering for 20 minutes with beautiful music playing loudly

Andrew Peterson - Dancing in the Minefields from Centricity Music on Vimeo.

Today's Untitled Blog Post

So I can not think of a title for this post today. My clever genius starts after 7:00 am.


I read the most encouraging blog post yesterday, I was so encouraged and moved that I decided to not blog about it then but to let it stay with me all day. You might begin to think that I have an obsession with Ann Voskamp...well I kind of do becuase she has an obsession with Christ that I want! They say if you want to be skinny, do skinny people things, if you want to be fit, do what fit people do and so forth. Well, I want to be passionately in love with Christ and let him use my messy story to heal me and if he chooses, to touch others with it as well.

I have become a bit of a perfectionist over the years, always striving to have everything in it's place, to be the best at everything I do, and I get frustrated when things don't go exactly how I pictured.  I have also started to rely on God to break me of this nasty habit. He doesn't want my perfection, he already has it through Christ. He wants my praise and my love to turn towards him in everything I do.

I have noticed a change in my attitude already just by being aware and giving thanks for all the beautiful gifts He has given me. On the flip side, I have had some pretty down times as well. That old self coming out telling me I am not good enough, smart enough, perfect enough to even be worthy to call upon his name. Those lies will creep up, but my God has given me the truth. I read another amazing woman's thoughts on this, and I encourage you to head over there too. We are His beautiful children, there is great delight in his eyes when he sees us.

Thankful for,
long talks with my mom
wedding album finally in
smell of clean clothes
early morning walks with Doug
laughing with my husband over silly things
our Rwandan Compassion child
knowing God is not finished with me

Oklahoma!

Weekend get-a-way to Oklahoma may not sound romantic or exciting, but getting away from work and school and the apartment to spend some much needed time with your husband, is just the kind of weekend I needed. We had bought a Groupon for the Hyatt Hotel in Tulsa, Googled some very Tulsa things to do and headed out for our destination, complete with Chex Mix and peanut butter M&M's. I wanted to share some of the things we did while there, so check out the photos below!

Grabbing coffee at the local, shabby chic, Shades of Brown

In Tulsa's version of Bradly Fair, they had a fun old phone booth!

"Help! Help!"

Dun-da-da-Dun!!

"I will rescue you!"

Where there is a Doug, there is a Starbucks.

Fun at Anthropolgie

Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?

Beautiful Philbrook Museum

So beautiful, so hot, I melted

Random garden gnome!

This gazebo is what took husband and I out of the AC and into the sweltering Brazilian rainforest, wait I mean Tulsa

Despite the heat wave, the flowers were in full bloom.

Snapped some self photos and high tailed it back to the museum!

 

 

 Things I am grateful for:

Long worknights with great coworkers
patients who understand they are not the only ones you have to take care of
God holding me together when I am falling apart
good times with the sister

the air conditioner
of course, get-a-way weekends with the hubby
how he chose the smoother path on the way there so I could sleep in the car
clouds disguised as a fantastic king sized bed
dinner and a movie date night out of town
remembering how God loves me, all.the.time.
brother and sister-in-law's preparing to have a baby girl :)
going to be an Auntie!
good chats with good friends
late night and early morning walks with my love
have I mentioned the air conditioner?

Gratefulness

I have been struggling with learning how to be grateful/thankful in ALL things. I lose perspective so easily and focus on the dark, the imperfections, the things I feel helpless to change, when I need to just shift my camera lens over and focus in on the object of my passion, on the one who waits to give me a life full of passion, fulfillment and purpose.  I'd like to share these two videos with you this morning.






















Now this video is about teaching gratefulness to children but I think we adults can take a lesson ourselves. I am using this blog as my own form of a gratitude journal, do whatever fits your life best but take the time to begin savoring the moments and make a change to see things as God would have you see them.



You have heard me talk about Ann Voskamp before, but I wanted to share this video with you becuase, the beautiful description of framing moments and shifting your focus on what really matters is exactly what I needed to hear. I do not need a house, or children, or tons of friends, or a best selling book, or know how to cook well (working on it though!), or be the best at everything. All I need to do is give thanks to God for the breath I have in my lungs right now, for the things that really matter are the things I need to begin to make important in my life, and to let all else rest outside my frame for that moment.


1 Thessalonians 5:18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.


Thankful for
Godly perspective
good books that redirect my attention towards the Lord
my good, caring husband who listens to me
tears of frustration that give way to hope
vanilla bean ice cream while watching Phineas and Ferb
sweet pregnant friends about to burst forth a new life any time now!

Early mornings are for muffins

Working nights throws my poor sleeping patterns off terribly. Slept all day yesterday, woke up around 7 (normally I get up at 5... it was a LONG and HARD three nights at the hospital) tried to spend time with Doug, and then went to bed at midnight. So... I got up at 4:30 am, made some banana nut and strawberry muffins while the husband made the coffee.

Little baby muffins!

So I will not bore you with a recap of how awful work was, but let me say this, the last three nights made me reconsider why I ever wanted to be a nurse in the first place. Especially a med-surg nurse. It is hard to give adequate care to 8 patients, 8 very sick, very needy patients. I felt like I was running for 12+ hours! I don't mind busy, I do mind crazy.

That being said, I am grateful for:

co-workers who help you
patients who say thank you
a piece of dark chocolate, sea salt, almond fantasticness in the midst of chaos
knowing your shift will eventually be over (they can't make me stay forever!!)
the train on K-15 that gives you green lights, all.the.way.home.

biscuits and gravy, hashbrowns, and OJ with the hubby at Braums after work yesterday
coming home to our cute apartment that contains our comfy bed
a hot shower.
SLEEP!
having a loving God who tests me daily so that I may know him more

I should be sleeping...

I really should be napping right now before I go to work tonight, but here I am, blogging really quickly!

thankful for...
groupon deals to Old Navy
cute new clothes
helpful sales people
a wonderful husband that shops with me (and let me have his groupon!)
hearing others stories
knowing God changes lives
having a job helping others
yesterday's 8 hours spent with my sister, my best friend

My seester and me. taken by Jackie Cooper Photography

God is working in me, and I am learning to get out of the way. 

Back again!

Hmm. I am not really good at this whole blogging deal.

I have much to catch up on, but I will do that slowly over time. I want to start blogging again on a more regular basis for personal reasons, I need to be more active in seeing God's fingerprints everywhere. He gives us gifts, ALL THE TIME!! I want to be more aware of how he is doing it in my life and those around me. Reading Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts: A Dar to Live Fully Right Where You Are" has  also inspired me, yes again, to give thanks in everything. I like her style, just writing down the big, the little, the in between, daily moments where God shows up and graciously hands us a gift. So, I can not promise that I will be on here daily, working three nights in a row leaves me little time to blog, but on the other days I will be working on becoming more disciplined in giving thanks (via blog posts)!

woke up to my husband doing the dishes before his long day

christmas lights above our cabinets

God's grace

homemade bread, 

funny videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v​=zKKAVYI7vdU&sns=fb

getting to see my sweet sister for lunch later

Married my best friend, my love on April 30th, 2011

I am not counting on people reading this, but if you do, please leave a comment now and again about what God has done for you lately.